Now – one of my habits – and it does annoy some folks when I underline sentences in books that I own. Sometimes I dog-ear the pages as an aid to find the underlines. All of a sudden I feel like Andy Rooney telling you about this habit of mine. Do you do this? Or are you a Ph.D. purist about books: don’t bend the spine, don’t write in them, leave the dust jackets on, etc.?
Let me tell you about two of the books that I have really abused. I do this to recommend books you may wish to take on a vacation with you. I’m hoping that you do take some inspirational reading with you as well as some escapism reading.
For inspiration – I recommend these two books:
-Living the Catholic Faith – Rediscovering the Basics by Archbishop Charles Chaput; Servant Publications, Ann Arbor, Michigan (and)
-Grace in Every Season – Daily Reflections (Through the Year) with Catherine Doherty; Madonna House Publications, Combermere, Ontario, Canada.
There are probably no books in my relatively dense library of books – no books which are more underlined and dog-eared than these two. Here’s why and here are examples.
For Archbishop Chaput (who is the bishop that ordained me) – he lays out a wonderfully readable book that invites and challenges the reader to look at the Catholic faith they profess. And from a guided way of looking at faith aspects – the bishop asks you to pray and consider your reply. Here’s an example from page 136 of Chaput’s book in a chapter titled “The Family As Leaven:” (In a series of recommendations or ideas for the Catholic family, Archbishop Charles says): “Sixth, teach your children to develop the virtues of the heart. Help them to value fidelity instead of broken promises; patience instead of restlessness; simplicity in place of confusion; humility instead of pride; courage in place of cowardice; honesty instead of excuses; forgiveness in place of revenge; a hunger for justice in place of apathy. And seventh, teach your children to revere the sanctity of life.”
Whether you are yet to have children… or you have them and this is a handful to expect from where you are… or if you are a grandparent who does occasional babysitting, these are suggestions and challenges that can lead to loving Catholic Christian hearts in young people. One other quote from the Archbishop that I have used many times in my preaching: “… God doesn’t need ‘nice’ Christians, Christians who are personally opposed to sin, but too polite to do anything about it publicly.” BINGO!
Now Catherine’ Doherty’s book is a wonderful daily inspirational and reflective sort of book. Most topics are about one page.
And it’s on a variety of things to ponder and let wash over your satisfaction with where you are and what you’ve been doing. There are about 310 pages in this book – and I’d guess I’ve dog-eared 200 pages… maybe more. I’ve written about this particular topic here at Catholic Family – it seems so apropos for mulling over during summer: “Christian recreation is truly re-creation, a renewal, a re-gathering, a re-collection… it doesn’t mean doing nothing… Recreation is to re-create, to make new. It is done with God, for God, for his honor and glory.” The rest of Catherine’s reflection is about things that one might do on vacation – done with an eye to becoming a new person when you return to home and work. Let me assure you that swimming, sunning, reading a book – these are all part of her examples of God-based re-creation. Imagine swimming for God!
As I complete this column for you who visit the Catholic Family website – I will take your intentions with me as I leave for a while. My wife Dee & I will be doing some marathon driving; we don’t mind too much. We’ll be in Springfield, MO visiting our daughter and family. I’ll go to Franciscan University in Steubenville, OH for an annual priest and deacon retreat and conference. Dee will go on to Bedford County, PA to visit her mom and family and I’ll join them when I finish my retreat. And finally, we’ll leave the east coast area and drive to San Antonio, TX for the Catholic New Media Conference, sponsored by SQPN. You know you’re invited – and many famous podcasters will be there. [We may have to stop near College Station, TX and help midwife a baby while David is away. I’m not a doctor and I don’t play one on TV… but I’m up for this assignment! Pray for the Sweeney’s, okay?]
Blessings. See you in July! Happy Re-creating! Deacon Tom
www.deacontomonline.com
www.catholicmoments.com
www.catholicmom.com
In this episode: David’s tomatoes, baby update, Clothesline and clothespin bag, hammer down, parenting tip of the week, Deacon Tom’s article on praying together, Mail Bag; Patrick in Michigan, Sean the Duct-Tape-Guy, Catholic New Media Celebration
Link to Clothespin Bag Allyson likes
Final Song: Hammer Down by Wiser Time
Email us [at] catholicfamilypodcast.com or call our comment line at 206-339-8993
]]>- Have them read the back of the Loreal Preference Box. It has the best sentence structure.
- They must pray before meals. Otherwise, starve them until they pray for mercy.
- Be consistent. If you aren’t, you might mess up and not cover all of the gray.
- Teach them how to handle money, but don’t tell them how much the house cost. That way you can deduct more rent from their allowance.
- Go on a date. If with your spouse, go somewhere cheap like Taco Bell or a bookstore.
- Do something fun and different with your kids. If they don’t like it, take them on a forced march through the forest. Don’t forget the first aid kits!
- Child labor laws don’t apply at home. Get free labor out of them or the pets die!
- Teach them to serve others without expecting anything back. Otherwise your hair will go gray. Just look what happened to your poor Mother!
- Don’t give in to peer pressure. If they do, throw them off the pier and feed them to the sharks, along with all of the other naked people.
- Practice what you preach. Or color your hair. Which ever is easiest.
In this episode: David and Allyson review the top 10 issues (tips?) they had during the past year. Allyson undergoes a miraculous transformation. David finds a trade.
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]]>It is interesting to me that Father Peyton wrote his autobiography and titled it All For Her – and he had such great devotion to the Rosary and to the Blessed Virgin Mary, as did the late, great John Paul II. And you likely remember the late pope’s motto which was Totus Tuus: ‘totally yours.’ This was a statement of devotion to Mary.
Let me quote from Fr. Pat’s book:
I was born on January 9, 1909, in a picturesque valley in County Mayo in the west of Ireland. On one side were the Ox Mountains; on the other was the Atlantic Ocean.
From my earliest memories, I saw my father with the Rosary beads in his hands and my mother holding hers. My older brothers and sisters and I knelt around them, praying. Father began with the Sign of the Cross, then the Apostles’ Creed, the Our Fathers, the Hail Marys, the Glory Be’s. What impressed me most was the voice of my mother talking to Mary: “Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.”
For the first 19 years of my life, this was our daily practice as I grew from childhood to boyhood to my teens.
In good times and bad, in sickness and health, in poverty and hard work, we ended each day speaking to Jesus and His Mother, offering them the greatest tribute that could possibly be given, making the greatest act of faith, and honoring Mary above all the angels and saints.
Because of the daily family Rosary, my home was for me a cradle, a school, a university, a library and, most of all, a little church.”
For the sake of space, I’ll just summarize a bit of the story of this Irishman who became the leader of the Family Rosary Crusade. This prayer effort to promote the rosary and family prayer began a journey to fame and holy success when the Mutual Radio Broadcasting Network (the largest radio network at that time) offered a half hour radio broadcast to the entire United States. The first broadcast was on Mother’s Day and Fatima Day, May 13th, 1945. The show was reported to be one of the most listened to – most favored broadcasts ever. Fr. Peyton had a winning format for his radio broadcasts – he got a number of famous movie stars, bishops and other leaders to come to the studio and participate in prayer. They were often interviewed and it was a most popular approach to this Catholic devotion. Imagine trying this today!
Fr. Peyton built up the devotion to family prayer and the rosary throughout the U. S. and later around the world. There is a story told as follows. Once in Bogota, Columbia, as he had completed a Crusade and was mingling with the crowd, a young priest laughed at him and cried out, “Father Pat, the people need bread and meat and you give them rosaries.” In gentle Irish fashion, Fr. Peyton said, “Son, they need both bread for the body and bread for the soul.”
I mention this bit of biography and history about Fr. Peyton for a couple reasons – to remind us how much we have lost… most of us anyway. The motto of Fr. Peyton’s Rosary Crusade was, “The Family That Prays Together, Stays Together.”
Some people might respond that they pray a night prayer with their children… something like, “Now I lay me down to sleep.” Perhaps in later years, an Our Father and or a Hail Mary… but consider the testimony and example that Fr. Peyton gave to us. My wife Dee and I pray Evening Prayer (Liturgy of the Hours) together just about every night. We pray this together and voice our petitions for family, the sick and other intentions we carry in our hearts. This has made a big difference – a very big difference in our lives and devotion and faith.
Yet I have encouraged Dee that we need to do the rosary together more often. And in that vein – I encourage members of the Catholic Family Podcast to try – try adding more prayer together. Don’t feel as if you have to do it all. Take a small segment of prayer and be faithful to it. Perhaps start with a decade of the rosary – along with a different intention each time you do it.
When kids share in prayer intentions – the poor… the needy… deceased members of the family… for orphans… for peace – it gives them a holy and world connectedness far beyond saying a single Hail Mary at bedtime.
Archbishop Charles Chaput says, “Raising a family is heroic work.” You can be a spiritual hero if you lead the effort to bring more prayer into your family – all of the family, together. Please remember to pray for our bishops, priests, deacons and nuns. And the souls in Purgatory.
Thank you… May your family stay together – in good times and in bad. Dedicate yourself to Mary and ask for her help. Blessings.
Deacon Tom
www.deacontomonline.com
www.catholicmoments.com
www.catholicmom.com
In this episode: Family Life; Working in the Yard, Lara’s Texas Homesteader, Allyson contemplates a year without makeup, Recycling, Catholic School Reunion, Church Life; Confirmation Retreat, Luke’s First Communion, Mailbag; Debbie from Texas
Links in this episode:
Final Song: Telemann: Trio Sonata in D minor by the Voices of Music
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In this episode: Luke makes his first reconciliation, tie dying the baby’s onsies, camping and parenting tips - no sarcasm, review of The Wonder Clock by Howard Pyle, Triduum podcasts, Mail Bag: Mary From MN, Deacon Tom, Kathryn gives ‘thumbs up’ for Kitt Kittridge - American Girl movie
Don’t for get the SQPN Giving Campaign or the Catholic New Media Celebration
Final Song: Sing Hosanna to the Son of David, Tewkesbury Abbey Scola
Tewkesbury Abbey Schola Cantorum, Benjamin Nicholas, Carleton Etherington
“Hosanna to the Son of David” (mp3)
from “Thomas Weelkes: Sacred choral music”
(Delphian Records)
Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at Rhapsody
Buy at Napster
Stream from Rhapsody
More On This Album
2009 Triduum Special: The liturgical meaning and music of Holy Saturday. Credits to Linda Armstrong and the choristers of St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Plantersville, TX. Music from GIA used with permission.
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2009 Triduum Special: The liturgical meaning and music of Good Friday. Credits to Linda Armstrong and the choristers of St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Plantersville, TX. Music from GIA used with permission.
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2009 Triduum Special: The liturgical meaning and music of Holy Thursday. Credits to Linda Armstrong and the choristers of St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Plantersville, TX. Music from GIA used with permission.
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In this episode: The kids want more bandwidth, Allyon’s reunion, Spring Break, Parenting Tip: Getting the Kids to Bed, Shakespearian Movie, Church Life: Stations of the Cross. Final Song: Stabat Mater- Haydn.
Links in this episode:
Stations of the Cross
Stations for Children
Link to the words for the Stabat Mater and real audio link
Pronounciations of the Latin
Stations of the Cross in Groom, TX
Wikipedia Stations of the Cross
Catholic Roundup on uStream
March 28th - uStream
http://catholicroundup.com/
Final Song: Stabat Mater from “Haydn: Symphony No. 44 in E Minor
Anna Maria Bondi, Claudia Eder, Axel Reichardt, Jürg Krattinger, Arlette Heudron, Chorale Philippe-Caillard, Jean Bridier, Orchestre Les Solistes de Paris, Henri-Claude Fantapié
“Stabat Mater” (mp3)
from “Haydn: Stabat Mater, Symphony No. 44 in E Minor, Concerto in F Major, Libera Me, Domine”
(Divine Art)
In this episode: Podcasting by the seat of their pants, David and Allyson talk about the new baby, parenting kids after 9pm and lots of poop issues.
Call our comment line at 206-339-8993
email us [at] catholicfamilypodcast.com
]]>Hello Catholic Family members. Lenten blessings and ‘can’t we go get a coffee and a piece of peach pie somewhere?’ Greetings.
If you are using many of the wonderful SQPN or other Catholic websites – you are aware that Lent is everywhere. Priests and deacons and e-family members giving you Lenten ideas and suggestions. Are you hearing or reading what they are saying? Doesn’t it seem like there are a lot of suggestions? Give this up. Pray this. Meditate on that. Read this. Do this. Take two of these and call me in the morning J. Yikes!
Okay – let me revisit a topic that parishioners hear me talk about often – it’s Madonna House (MH). MH was founded by Servant of God Catherine Doherty and she is being studied by the Church for sainthood. Catherine founded MH in Combermere, Canada and it now has field houses in about 20 locations around the U. S., Canada and other countries. MH is a mostly lay organization founded on the challenge of living Gospel life – everyday… in a most simple manner. Well – a simple, radical manner.
Foundress Doherty talked in very simple ways about doing things that are easy to grasp. Catherine talked about Lent as a great time to ‘Spring Clean Your Heart.”
She recommended working on the simplest of problems which become like sin-clutter in our lives. What kind of things? Impatience, resentments, laziness, jealousy, envy, and coldness towards those we love… they can happen in our day-to- day lives and even become ingrained. You can probably add to the list.
How to get rid of or at least work on these? Catherine told her people to pray and fast… fast and pray. But then she taught the staff that peeling potatoes can be a prayer. Folding laundry with love can be a prayer for the person who will use these clean items. And not ‘snapping back’ at someone (who may even deserve it) – that’s a form of fasting. Doing a small act of sacrifice for another without telling the person it was you – that’s an act of love and a form of fasting combined.
So while you and I may set typical goals (I’ll give up TV or I’ll cut down to one Starbucks a week….) – maybe what we’re really called to consider doing is to make more of our life a life of simple prayer and fasting. Let’s look at a paragraph which describes St. Therese of Lisieux, the Little Flower. “In nine years as a Carmelite nun, Therese (of Lisieux) loved God in the pursuit of her ordinary duties. With God first in her thoughts, she swept the choir loft, washed clothes, folded altar linens, escorted elderly nuns about the convent, and cut up food for a sister who had difficulty eating. Unlike other great saints, she did nothing noteworthy.
She did not found an order, build a hospital, or convert an aboriginal tribe. Though the little Sister is very good,” said one of her sisters, “she had never done anything worth speaking about.”
Did you catch what that sister said about the Little Flower: “she had never done anything worth speaking about?” Right… nothing worth speaking about unless you want to consider that she became one of the few great women Doctors of the Catholic Church and a role model for generations of children and men and women. You and I should be so much ‘never doing anything worthwhile.”
And so – between the themes and teachings of Catherine Doherty and St. Therese – we have models – Lenten designers who can give us concepts for day-to-day living in a radical Catholic manner. If you are burned out on Lent already…. Or if you are burned out on traditional Lenten concepts that don’t seem to work for you… would you consider surrendering one or two of those pesky faults and sin-clutter which have taken up residence in your heart?
Please – I need someone to do this with me – I don’t want to do this journey alone. Oh… speaking of Lenten journey – I’ve joined a few folks on another website blog found at http://thesefortydays.blogspot.com/ – please come visit Nissa Gadbois and Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle and others as they work to inspire your Lenten days. Their overall topic for These Forty Days is ‘surrender.’ Hope to see you there.
Meanwhile – I’ll be in prayer for you… blessings. Deacon Tom
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In this episode: The kids’ camping trip, review of Fireproof, service opportunities, baby update, the kids learn to dance, visiting priests, mailbag; Pat from Michigan, Michael Rieken.
Links in this episode:
Quinzhee
Ice Racing
Graphic: Saint Maximillian Kolbe by lordshadowblade
SQPN Catholic New Media Celebration June 27th, 2009 in San Antonio Texas
contact us @ catholicfamilypodcast [dot] com or call the comment line at 206-339-8993
Final Song: Steady On: The Winds of Your Grace
]]>Hello dear members of the Catholic Family Podcast Family. And from what I see and hear – many of you are also members of the greater SQPN Family: listening to other podcasts, becoming members of their families as well. If you are new to all of this – welcome. I hope you come to know and care for the podcasters, their personal families and their extended families as much as we have.
For those who have been around for awhile – do you remember when Greg (of www.gregandjennifer.com and Rosary Army and the Catholics Next Door fame on XM Satellite Radio) was training to run a marathon in Georgia? He helped inspire many to support him with prayers and best wishes. He also helped inspire many of us to want to do some good things for our bodies. And wasn’t it fun to hear the sound-scene-recording of Greg’s race day? Wasn’t it great witness to hear how much Jennifer and family were there encouraging – cheering Greg on to the finish? It was so wonderful to hear Jennifer’s loving congratulations to her husband as he completed the goal! (Congrats on daughter Lilly, too!)
And then what happened? Well, I remember our own resident (fearless) Catholic Family Podcast leader, David Sweeney working and getting physically active. He did quite a bit of training and then David accomplished a half-marathon. Thanks David for your example and call for us to do good things with the gift of our bodies.
And friend Lisa Hendey (From www.catholicmoments.com and www.Catholicmom.com) – she started work on a grueling prep program for doing a race in southern California. She gave us regular updates on her progress until she did her race. Lisa has since added a personal trainer to help buff and shape.
Good job Lisa! Good job all! You SQPN podcasters caught and taught the ‘family’ spirit and helped demonstrate what it means to be a walking (or in this case ‘running’) Gospel witness. (Now I could break into a sidebar story here and talk about pregnancies – another thing sweeping the SQPN family. But I won’t.)
You podcasters demonstrated something else. As with the clergy or with lay leaders in our Church – you have demonstrated what it means to give witness – and to share in the responsibility – the mantle of good example and leadership in the Body of Christ. And it is a mantle that needs to be continually shared.
In this year of St. Paul – the Holy Father and Church leaders are suggesting that we pray to… we look to and study writings of this leader who inspired hundreds of thousands of Gentiles. Paul was a podcaster before there ever was a computer or an internet.
One of Paul’s teaching approaches was his use of a racing metaphor to share with us that being a Christian requires effort – discipline – regular workouts. There are many PACE Catholics or Christians… you know what PACE means? Palms, Ashes, Christmas and Easter. That’s the ‘pace’ regimen they set for themselves. And while our loving God will be the final judge of every man and woman – I wouldn’t want to rest my hope of eternal happiness if I only set a ‘pace’ of four visits a year to Church.
Wherever you and I are as we run the race towards eternal life with Christ – we know that a regular routines of spiritual exercise will help get you into better shape. Recently, Lisa Hendey encouraged listeners to consider adding a daily Mass – perhaps just starting with one day a week.
David and Allyson give warm and great witness by the many ways they support the needs of their parish. And for years, the Willits family gave us example and encouragement to ‘make them, pray them, and to give them away.” They were of course speaking of the Rosary. Greg and Jennifer reminded many of us that closeness to Mary isn’t something that comes just from Mary. We need to spend time …. exercising and growing our relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mother just as we need to do with our own spouse.
On a recent interview on Relevant Radio – I talked about the simple act of surrendering ten minutes or more of sleep and getting up to spend completely quiet time with the Lord. This is nothing new – it isn’t something I created. I remember a very, very busy Colorado pastor – a popular, in demand pastor who did a lot of good in my old state of residence. More than once I heard him talk about getting up early in the morning – having a steaming mug of coffee and spending quiet time in silence – listening for the Lord to speak to him. Then, he went into prayer.
Is there any area of spiritual sluggishness that you’ve carried over from the old year? Would you consider starting a new ‘exercise’ program? Let me know what you’re doing… it may help inspire me. And I’ve noticed a few ounces of sluggishness on me. I’m waiting to hear your witness.
Blessings.
Deacon Tom
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In this episode: family here for Christmas, the three gifts, kids plan camping trip, a surprise present for the SQPN audience, Mail Bag: Deacon Tom, Mary from MN, PMPE
Link to our site
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Don’t forget the Catholic New Media Celebration coming June 27th, in San Antonio, Texas
Artwork: Madonna and Child III by bear48
FInal Song: Allison Crowe - What Child Is This?
A short skit on the epiphany story. Actors: Kathryn, Austin, Hannah and Luke Sweeney, Susannah, Matthew and Jennifer Armstrong.
Wise Men Don’t Gripe by John Cosper
We Three Kings by Derek K. Miller
]]>I don’t want to end the year on a heavy-duty note. But I’ve prepared an end-of-year reflection for my own website (www.deacontomonline.com) and it was done for use on December 29th 2008. And I used the Mass readings of that day and I think they lead us to a proper (although some might say a not so super upbeat) topic for the end of the year or the beginning of a new one. But, I invite you to think with me for a bit.
These words contained in the Gospel for December 29th are the same words mentioned in the past Sunday’s Gospel: “Lord, now let your servant go in peace; your word has been fulfilled; my own eyes have seen the salvation which you prepared in the sight of every people, a light to reveal you to the nations and the glory of your people Israel.” The words of Simeon – the gift given to him: a vision of the Holy One with whom he, Simeon would spend eternity.
And yet – we humans must pass through death to gain access to what God has ready for us. This leads to the theology of the four last things: death, judgment, heaven and hell. A preacher shouldn’t need to spend much time on death because it is about the only unarguable, permanent, proof-positive fact that everyone in the world agrees upon. Yes, Virginia there is a reality called death. For most of us, death will be a liberation from some amount of suffering in our lives (JPII). Death is the ultimate surrender from which none of us can escape. And so, according to the words of the Lord God, pronounced after the sin committed by man at the beginning of his earthly history: “You are dust and to dust you shall return.”
Have you ever been around anyone who has had a near-death experience? Father Dwight Long told a story of his grandfather who was run over by a car… the grandfather saved two of grandsons from harm – but the man himself was crushed… and his internal organs were so damaged that it was impossible to surgically repair him…. And he died. His wife was with him at his hospital bed – and just moments before he died – he came back to consciousness and he looked up to the corner of the ceiling. He said, “Can you see them Esther? They are so beautiful.”
Many of us have heard such stories – people gifted with a vision of what it’s like on the other side… they are given a glimpse of who is waiting for them… or there is an inviting white light… These stories give us comfort – and for some, they may give faith or hope of a better world to come. And what we need to take into our inner belief – what we need to accept and prepare for (by the lives we live) is that heaven is more real – totally real more than anything else we know of here on earth. In fact everything here isn’t real – if by real we mean permanent.
There are enough Biblical and other stories to remind us that heaven is real… and not just from anecdotes. St. Therese, the Little Flower spoke of a vision of heaven where, in heaven, each piece of dust is a jewel. Other holy ones gifted with heavenly or beatific visions have had their lives radically changed. St. Paul was one of them and he tells us that no eye has yet seen what God has ready for those who love Him. And C. S. Lewis in his book The Great Divorce, wrote of souls given a day pass from Purgatory and allowed to visit Heaven. And when they get there – they find they can’t walk on the grass because each blade of grass is like a tiny sword… cutting their feet. It is so much more real than anything experienced in our human life.
And so most Christians will believe or hope — taking comfort that there is a ‘goodness’ waiting for us on the other side. But many ‘believers’ don’t see or can’t accept the reality of judgment… and all-too-many have given up belief in hell. A good God wouldn’t condemn anyone to hell they say. Even some clergy give in and preach such a corrupted gospel.
It is beyond the scope of a short reflection such as this to expound on judgment and hell. I refer you to the Catholic Catechism for a scripturally based teaching on these matters. What is interesting is that there are countless examples of natural laws that no one will ignore or dispute… the law of gravity is but one example. You may dispute that a Good God would create a world in which someone could be killed for ignoring a law of gravity – and if that person wishes to test that law – he’d best be prepared for a smashing demonstration of the permanence of the effect of gravity – and he’d best be prepared for meeting his maker.
It takes no great leap of wisdom to believe that there are moral laws which are as absolute and which have consequences… and if (finally) – one comes to accept the truth of these absolutes, then to keep violating moral laws and expecting God’s eternal forbearance is not a wise position to assume.
In our parish – a few of us will be in Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament on New Year’s Eve from 11pm till midnight – welcoming in 2009 in a quiet and peaceful manner. I, for one will spend some time considering these matters. I hope you will do so as well. So – as I prepare this last reflection for 2008 – or thoughts to take into 2009 – I recommend that each of us could spend time meditating upon the realities of
-death
-judgment
-heaven and
-hell.
Thank you David and Allyson for the gift of your faith, your witness, your friendship and your family. May God bless you and the children and all of your worldwide Catholic Family.
Deacon Tom
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Artwork: Dove Heart by JoeDrummer77
Music by Brave Combo: Jingle Bells from their album “It’s Christmas, Man!”
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In this episode: snow in Texas, confirmation class, Linda’s commissioning, Allyson crashes parties, Swiss suicide haven, Deacon Tom’s advice for Advent families, Mailbag: Sean the Ductape Guy, Mary from Minnesota, Christine from MA.
Call the comment line at 206-339-8993 or email us [(a.t.]) catholicfamilypodcast (dot) com
Links in this episode:
TV death highlights Swiss suicide haven
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David’s froat, Allyson’s candy, Kathryn and Austin playing nicely? We’re too hard on the kids, review of Quantum of Solace, 4-H group now getting into podcasting, family Advent wreath, decorating the tree on Christmas Eve? Where do you draw the line? Mail Bag: Pat from Michigan, Catholic New Media Celebration - June 27th, 2009 San Antonio, Texas
4-Hers on the Brazos
Catholic Family Forums
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Final Song: Ryan Meyers Band - Walk Away
Podsafe Music Network
Although my wife and I are now in Arizona – we used to live in Colorado and I received deacon formation at the John Paul II Center for the New Evangelization in Denver. In the campus chapel was this picture of Our Lady of the New Advent – Jesus blessing us from inside the icon image of His Mother Mary. This picture was in the sanctuary and it spoke so much of what we believe as Catholics – that Mary is the reason for the season of Advent because it is she that helps bring about the Father’s will. It is Mary who holds Christ as does a tabernacle. So, this is another way of saying, “Mary is the reason for the season.”
So if I put together a column about what Catholic families might do for Advent – one first statement of focus would be on Mary. Last year at this time, I wrote a Catholic Family (Podcast) column on Las Posadas.
I’d like to repeat a bit of Las Posadas here again. Note in the explanation that the first name mentioned is Mary. You, dear Catholic parents can accomplish wonderful formation for your children if you let the ‘Spirit’ of the Advent season come alive in your hearts and in your home.
There is a tradition in Mexico called Las Posadas. There can be variations on how it is done – but the most common begins nine days before Christmas. These nine days symbolize the time it took for Mary and Joseph to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem. For each of the nine days, the experience of Mary and Joseph looking for lodging at the inns of Bethlehem is reenacted. Participants are divided into two groups which are the ‘pilgrims’ and the ‘innkeepers.’ Pilgrims go from ‘house to house’ (or room to room in your home) carrying lit candles (or flashlights if that’s safer) and singing requests and looking for a room for the Holy Family. This can be done with your own musical ‘creation’ or I’m sure you can find words of a song that begs to be let in and given a room for shelter. At every inn or house the innkeepers refuse the pilgrims. “No – no go away, into the night for we have no room for you at this inn!” This can be done dramatically or it can be done in song…. On Christmas Eve, the pilgrims are welcomed in at last. They enter and everyone joins in singing a joyful carol. Children and many adults love this festive teaching idea. Children are great at enacting what is part of our Biblical understanding of Christ being shut out. And it often forms a tradition that will endure for years and years – perhaps into generations in families.
Dad can be in one room and speak gruffly: “Go away, you have no money and there is no room here.”
Mom can be in another room as she sweetly sings ‘go away because it is too late and I can’t open the door.’ You can write your own songs or script as you wish. You and your children could act this out once a week – Sundays for example. There should always be an expectant Mary and husband Joseph in this play. In a small family, mom and dad could be the Holy Family and the kids could be the innkeepers.
Okay – some might say, “Well that’s fine and well for some families; our kids are too young or that wouldn’t go for that.” While I really wish you’d give it a try – how about a once-a-week family rosary saying the Joyful Mysteries together? You could write little plays – the Angel Gabriel coming to visit Mary and telling her she’s going to be the Mother of God. Mary visiting her cousin Elizabeth; Elizabeth saying that she recognizes that Mary is going to be the Mother of the Savior. The birth of Christ with wise men and cattle coming to adore Him. Jesus being lost. Ooh – isn’t this scary? You could add lots of drama in this Mystery. But always, returning to pray the Our Father and the ten Hail Mary’s.
Finally – and this is so simple. Instead of setting up your complete Nativity set, here’s what some Catholic families do. Put the manger scene under the tree for Advent – except it should be without the Holy Family – obviously without Jesus present. Each Sunday – have a little Advent ceremony consisting of the following. Pick out an Advent song (O Come O Come Emmanuel, Ready the Way, Come Thou Long Expected Jesus, etc.). Sing the song as you and the children light the next Advent candle. And as this is done, let one of the family members ‘move’ Mary (on a donkey) and Joseph closer to the Christmas tree.
Children love this visualization – an easy teaching method that Mary brings Christ to help make Christmas Day. And of course, on Christmas Day, before gifts are opened – Baby Jesus is placed in the manger with a little ceremony.
Jesus came to be the Christmas gift – Jesus gave Himself to the entire world. Your Advent practice might consist of some aspects of giving that involve your family. When Mary became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit – the first thing she did was an act of charity! Mary went to visit her cousin. We know there are many seasonal programs… Coats for Kids, Christmas Giving Trees… If your children are old enough to help make cookies – don’t forget folks in a nursing home or a lonely widow down the street. If your church or community offers a Nativity Play – make sure to involve the kids or at least attend the play. In all of these, Mary, the Mother of Christ is the reason for the (Advent) Season. I hope your children hear this message.
And – may Christ come once again into your heart and into your home. An Advent spent with focus on Mary will most certainly prepare you for a truly Merry and blessed Christmas.
Blessings. Deacon Tom
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Queen of the malaprops, advice to newly married couples,thanksgiving holidays at the Sweeneys North, Saint of the Day - St. Cecilia, review of The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall, SQPN reverse giving campaign, SQPN groups, teaching confirmation, the start of Advent, goodbye to Greg and Jennifer
Grandma’s Stuffing
- 3 onions
- 1/2 stalk celery
- stick of butter
- 3 packages of Jiffy Cornbread
- 6 pieces white toast (dark)
- 6 eggs scrambled
- 4-6 cups chicken stock
- sage (optional)
- salt/pepper
melt the butter in a skillet and saute the onion and celery until clear, set aside. Break the cornbread up in a large pan. Have the kids crumble the toast up and add. Add sage, salt and pepper. Pour beaten eggs and fold gently. Add 4-6 cups of chicken stock (or bullion) and fold until stuffing shakes like jello. Taste and adjust salt and pepper (go easy on the pepper). Cover with aluminum foil and refrigerate overnight. Next day, bake covered at 350F for 1.5-2.0 hours. Uncover and fluff. Optionally, fold in 1/2 cup of grease from the turkey. Cook for about another 15-20 minutes to crisp top.
Sacco’s Liturgical Calendar
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Final Song: Nathan Long - The Cup
from the Podsafe Music Network
And so – a while back… on a nice summer day, I had a meeting at the parish office with a lady. I had only spoken to her on the phone. The subject of our meeting was that this lady wanted to secure a letter recommending her to another parish for this lady to be a baptismal sponsor.
When I came to the office – she was waiting. She was beautiful! Tall and slender and dressed in a diaphanous, filmy outer material which covered an attractive yellow print dress. She had long, very long, black hair and large dark eyes. She could have been a model – she certainly looked like one. (Almost as lovely as Allyson!)
Once into our meeting, she began to tell me how she was reared in the Catholic Faith and how it was important to her. She said she read the Bible just about every day… and she did pray every day. It sounded as if she would make a wonderful role model as a baptismal sponsor.
Now I happened to notice that she didn’t say anything about the Mass, so when I got the opportunity to ask about this, she became a wee bit emotional. Her eyes started to moisten as she admitted that her work (in a profession that does have off and on hours) kept her from getting to church as much as she should. But those other things… the Bible reading, the prayers… she even mentioned fasting. I certainly tried to be an understanding deacon as I looked at this diaphanously dressed Catholic lady.
Fade to black… and here comes a later, second session with this lady. It seems she and the other family members wanted to have the baptism at our parish rather than the previously discussed plan. It seems that the other parish wasn’t too welcoming because there is more to the story. The other (parent) family had some church-practice issues. And this proposed baptismal sponsor hadn’t told me everything. It came out that she had been going to another (non-Catholic) church pretty often. AND — she has been married twice, both times in civil marriages. She had never gotten an annulment of her first marriage.
I guess I was flabbergasted that I hadn’t found this out before. As gently as I could, I said it didn’t sound as if she was a practicing Catholic at all. Now I’ve done it. Now the diaphanous lady was really emotional and crying. Why was the church being so legalistic? What was she supposed to do? Stay in a first marriage where she was physically and emotionally abused? And no, she hadn’t been to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And what did I mean she shouldn’t be receiving the Eucharist?
All of a sudden – this model – this beautiful lady was pretty upset with the Catholic Church. It wasn’t loving like some other churches she had been to. Hadn’t Jesus already forgiven our sins?
Dear Catholic Family podcast friends… do you understand what has happened with a sizeable segment of our brothers and sisters who have created a homemade faith tailored exactly to their wishes and circumstances? No rules? No laws. No worries… be happy. Until the Church tries to say, “I’m sorry – that’s not being Catholic.”
Catholics come together each week… it’s not a choice. And in our brokenness and sinfulness – we worship together as family. We do our best to practice what the Lord and the Church teaches. When we fail, we go to Confession. We can’t make up rules like three year old children playing the game Candyland.
You may not know that there are people who practice this sort of Christian faith. But in any way – are you like the lady in the diaphanous dress? Have you created a sort of deodorized Christianity?
We need to pray. We need to evangelize. We need to give example and be willing to state with firmness what we believe… who we are. I’d like to hear from you. I really would.
Blessings. Deacon Tom
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In this episode: Abundant Blessings, making bows, groceries, we’re winners, Why are we so blessed? All Souls Gloria? Mailbag: Deacon Tom, Deaconette Dee’s 70th birthday, Debbie from Falls Church VA. Big thank you goes out to April Swenson for the chocolate-covered pretzels.
Links in this episode:
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In this episode: Catholic Family 101, Bob’s surgery, 4-H podcast, Confirmation Retreat, Mail Bag: Mary from Seattle, Brenda from Pennsylvania, Mary from Minnesota.
Links in this episode:
Contact us [a.t.] catholicfamilypodcast [dot] com
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Final Song: 38 Acres - I Praise You
Podsafe Music Network
Hi dear friends of the Catholic Family from Texas… no that’s not my wife and me… THE Catholic Family is the Sweeneys from Texas. We’ve never met in person although I sure would like to do that. But we have shared email communication – and as listeners, we have come to think of them from the ways they share their lives on the podcasts.
The format of their program is a mix of them – some unvarnished them… mixed with some sound-seeing from time to time… the sounds of rushing waters in a river they are vacationing in… or the sounds of a rain storm… or the sound of dripping water in their recording studio. (What architect worked on that design by the way?)
They say that David Sweeney has a psychology degree… may God help Allyson and the kids (grin). I bring this up because I wonder what communication is like in the Sweeney household. It sounds as if it’s pretty good. I’m sure they have their moments.
My wife and I have some open sharing. But she tends to be ‘The Ignorer.’ And I tend to be a ‘stuffer.’ I’ve heard that you can never really stuff anything because it always comes out in a different way or place. How is communication in your home? Is it talk, talk, talk? Or is it communication? A mix of both?
From time to time, I read articles about relationships. And in the seminary when I was studying to become a deacon – they spent a lot of time on our weekends of spiritual formation concentrating on marriage enrichment and repair work with husbands and wives required to be present. If you would think that deacons would have holy, holy marriages with perfect kids – Oy Veh – you are sure in for a surprise. (Speaking of communication, how do you spell oyveh by the way??)
I just received a column from a Father Lou Guntzelman who writes in the Ohio Community Press. Fr. Lou says that mere talk stifles relations while communication deepens a relationship. He wrote: “One would think that if we live in close association with a person we want to increasingly love, we would communicate often. One would think that communication flows easily between close friends and spouses…. A great difference exists between talking and communicating. Talk is often called cheap because it doesn’t cost much. It consists in mindlessly meeting streams of words, superficialities, and common information.”
I know what Father Lou is getting at — but it sure doesn’t make it any easier to do in our relationship. I mean if I ‘communicate’ with my wife, she might get to know what I’m really thinking. What if she doesn’t respond – I will have opened myself up… exposed myself and there won’t be any concern or sympathy or understanding.
Worse yet – what if she opened up and told me something from her gut. What is she said she doesn’t like the way I treated someone. I mean, for heaven’s sake – I might have to explain or defend myself.
A book that we used in our deacon formation classes is called “Fighting For Your Marriage.” It’s described as a best-selling marriage enhancement and divorce prevention book. (The authors started this from some very significant work at the University of Denver. The last names of the authors are Markman, Stanley and Blumberg The Book is published by Jossey-Bass – a Wiley Company out of San Francisco).
Now there are different types of communication between husband and wife. There is casual talk: who picks up the kids after soccer practice, who will shop for groceries, etc. While these words are often done in the times of repetitive struggles to just keep us with daily life – this ‘casual talk’ must be done with love and consideration. My son-in-law reminds me of this when he says, “Happy Wife… Happy Life.” That said, if casual talk is the only talk in a marriage – for heaven’s sake seek help! Go away for a weekend and work to rekindle the reasons you fell in love. Tell the other person exactly that…
Next, there is ‘conflict or issue talking.’ That’s where this program comes in (most especially for problems). And finally – there’s ‘friendship’ talk – the kind of talk a couple needs when they want to stay together. Friendship talk is for building intimacy, attachment, security… what we call the ‘good stuff.’
If we don’t work on healthy ways to handle the conflict and issue talk – we’ll have trouble getting to and enjoying the friendship talk. Going back to Fighting For Your Marriage — one of the seemingly stupid ideas put forth by these highly educated authors is the concept of ‘the FLOOR.’ The Floor is a piece of paper or a 3 X 5 card – on it is written the word, FLOOR. When a couple needs to have a real talk… an issues type talk, they are encouraged to get the 3 X 5 card. And when they get started – only one person can have the Floor at a time. The person with the Floor can talk for (perhaps) 3 to 5 minutes expressing his/her view of a problem or an issue. No negativity is allowed – no attacking. The other person must listen without interruption. He or she is then handed the Floor. Guess what that person must do? The one receiving the Floor must start by saying, “What I heard you say is this: _____________. Is that what you said?” This requires a clear expression of what the first person said so that both parties are talking about and responding to the exact same issue. Sound easy? Sound silly? Try it if you have communications struggles in your family. After a while of using this technique – couples dispense with the 3 X 5 card… because the ebb and flow of their talk respects the idea of one person talking – the other listening and repeating what was said before responding.
There are other guidelines in this Fighting For Your Marriage book and program. But the key is to ‘frame’ a discussion with little or no emotion. This concentrates on a problem and ways to work on it.
As a deacon – I’ve worked with couples to prepare them for marriage. Statistics tell us that perhaps as many as 50 percent will wind up in divorce court. Even the ones who go through Catholic marriage preparation suffer from this societal problem. Everyone loves their partner when they get married. No one loves their partner when they divorce. What’s going on? For many of them – it is a safe bet that it was ‘talk, talk, talk’ followed by ‘talk, boredom, talk’ followed by argument, anger, divorce court.
I’d like to hear from you if you have some tips or tools that have worked for you. I’d like to hear from you if you worked your way through tough times.
www.deacontomonline.com
www.catholicmom.com
www.catholicmoments.com
In this episode: Familiae Catholicae Centesimus Pars, Catholic Family Operetta (thank you Jennifer, Greg, Fr. Bill, Dr. Paul, Fr. Roderick, Mac, the Sweeney kids and Muzio Clementi for contributing), Ike report, laying grass, kids in the rain, Swallows and Amazons, changes in the podcast, Chorus of Choirs, Exulatation of the Cross, your wishes and feedback.
Final Song: Transmission: I Know a Fount
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David and Allyson invite you to contribute to their upcoming 100th episode. Join us live on uStream Saturday, September 13th at 8pm CST for the recording. Send you audio feedback to 206-339-8993 or email us [a.t.] catholicfamilypodcast.com
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